you owe me ti-i-ime

I've done some thinking regarding my last post and performance pieces. Now that I am two days older and wiser thanI was when writing it, I am ready to share my thoughts. Get comfortable, this is going to be good. And for your convenience, I've provided this image of a comfortable woman. It's a superb model to follow.

Alright. I mentioned before that the performance work I presented on at the NCUR has a pretty different focus than that ofmy current work. And, to be fair, that's mostly true. The focus is indeed different, but there are some pretty clear links between the two bodies.

My current work is about the internal body more than the external. I would group themes pertaining to gender and sexuality to be party of the external-- still very body related, but examined using a different lens. The internal requires a fine, focused look at what's inside of all of us. That is to say, it is not cultural, specific to certain individuals, or debatable. Inside of each of us lives the same beast. This is sort of like gatorade's Is It In You? campaign, except in real life, sugar water isn't healthy, we don't sweat neon liquid, and we're all sort of frail, grotesque people at risk of the same bodily hazards.

It's the human condition, really, that I'm talking about. We have health and sickness: we live, we lose, we grieve, and we get on with our lives.

That said, I'm still using the same sexualized language in my work. Though I'm not speaking about one specific gender or sex, nor am I drawing from a particular area of anatomy, I'm finding ways to incorporate the ideas of gender relations and imagery in my work. I've been told a number of times that my most recent project is very phallic. It's interesting how hesitant people are to say that. I've heard a lot of "That looks a lot like a... well... it's... it looks... phallic." Well, I'll just come out and say it. Why yes, thank you for noticing, it does look like a penis, doesn't it? And if you look closely, I've included a number of small almond shaped things all over the drawing. They're vaginas.

So what I'm finding is that I am sort of naturally applying subjects from my older performances into my newer work. Instead of focussing on just one gender, however, I'm looking at both. My work examines the body on a number of levels, as an abstract, overwhelming environment and as the loaded, sexualized entity that it has become. Notions of gender, sex, and sexuality are just as central to my focus in bodily control, identification, and distortion as any other topic I look at.

It feels good to draw relations between the two. I was beginning to think I was living a schizophrenic double-life.

Not really.

photo credit:

1. snuggie http://www.asseenontvguys.com/productimages/as_seen_on_tv_guys_1/snuggie-blanket-.JPG

2. gatorade via http://perryfair.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/picture-171.png%3Fw%3D426%26h%3D556

3. detail of my latest piece, courtesy of my cellphone.